Mourn the Dead, Fight for the Living: Healthcare Workers Discuss Grief and Losing of Patients

About The Guests
Ashley Kennamer, RN -is a cardiac ICU nurse with nearly a decade of experience caring for critically ill patients and their families during some of life’s most vulnerable moments.
Dr. Abby- is a hospice and palliative care physician who works across inpatient and outpatient settings supporting patients with serious illness and guiding families through complex end-of-life decisions.

Key Takeaways
- Dark humor in healthcare isn’t about disrespect—it’s often a coping strategy that helps clinicians stay compassionate and present.
- Bearing witness to death repeatedly is emotionally heavy, but shared experiences with teammates make it possible to keep going.
- Families express grief in many ways—including anger—and clinicians often absorb that emotional impact.
- Honest communication at the end of life requires both truth and compassion to help patients make meaningful decisions.
- Inviting children into end-of-life moments (when appropriate and guided) can support healthier grief processing.


Links Mentioned
Quote referenced by Daniel Sloss: “Laughter isn’t the opposite of sadness, happiness is.” From Dark Stand-up special, available on netflix


Timestamps
00:00 – Opening reflection: Why laughter and grief coexist in healthcare
02:15 – Meet Ashley (cardiac ICU nurse) and Dr. Abby (palliative care physician)
04:00 – Dark humor as armor—and as connection
13:00 – When families blame clinicians after a loss
27:00 – Transitioning from bedside nurse to bearer of bad news as an NP
32:00 – How clinicians privately cope with death over time
41:00 – Balancing honesty and hope in serious illness conversations
49:00 – Should children visit loved ones at end of life?
54:00 – Finding humor inside grief: the Hello Kitty story
56:00 – Quotes that shape how we carry loss forward